The Church of the Eternal Bleacher # 2: All Southpaws Welcome (Cont.)

Church of the Eternal Bleacher
All Southpaws Welcome
Continued from Aug 26th

         My friend Steve came to California from the East Coast in the early eighties.  Like me, he switched allegiance in his early twenties; he was originally a Mets fan.  He told me recently that he had not been out here that long, when the G-men got a nice streak going, and he climbed on board the SF float and has been a Giants fan ever since.  

Like Dave, Steve follows baseball, and can exchange views on any topic that touches on baseball.  He got riled up the other day, when I had the unmitigated gall to suggest that the Giants’ 2-1victory over the Pads was a good one, and that Timmy had gotten a much deserved win.  

“A good one?” he bellowed.   “Aaarrrrrgggg.  They committed five errors, and Timmy walked five batters.  What’s ‘good’ about that?”  Don’t give him fluff and chaff; he doesn’t want it.  Steve needs to know more than the final score, and who got the win.  He needs to know who replaced Wilson to close out that game, right after they announced that his elbow was inflamed.  He needs to know how Runzler could possibly have walked the pitcher in the second.  And finally, he needs to know if the Giants are going to be able to get it together.  

I can answer the first question easily (Ramon Ramirez), and I can answer the second one with some authentic baseball cliches (adrenaline flowing; overthrowing; backlash from Wednesday night’s lackluster performance against the Braves, take your pick).  The third question is  more difficult.  

The naysayers would have us believe it is long since over; it ended when Buster became somebody’s tackling dummy.  It was sort of odd, because we thought we were in the middle of a baseball game, but no rules were broken and the action had the intended effect, of garnering a victory for the opposing team.

Since the second commandment of our church is, Thou shalt not use injuries as an excuse (the first being, Thou shalt not quit), we do not accept any discussion about disabled lists.  All I want to know is if Eli’s concussion is OK, and is Buster still on schedule to return next spring?

As far as the Giants getting it together, they did that last year.  You can look it up.  Whether they can do the absurdly impossible again this year, seems unlikely.  Whether or not they can recover their collective health sufficiently to even compete, seems unlikely.  Therefore, let’s assume that the task is as improbable as last year, and get ready for whatever may take place. That way, if the Giants  get it together, we can be as ecstatic as we please, and if they don’t we’ll just be like every other religion, and wait for a savior, one who comes outfitted in a catcher’s mask and shin-guards.  In the Name of Timmy, Buster and Nate the Great, now and forever, you’re safe.

Be sure and pick up the weekly bulletin on your way out of church.