'Twas the Morning of Christmas

'Twas the Morning of Christmas

’Twas the morning of Christmas, and all through the house,

The only thing stirring was a wee, little mouse.

We’ve tried all we know to get rid of those pests, 

But they just shake their whiskers, and insist they’re our guests.

So on Christmas Eve when the fat man arrives,

The mice all sing carols while exchanging high fives.

An air of festivity fills the night sky,

And naturally makes one want to get high.

When Santa swung by here-he’s not been gone long,

His sole intent was to hammer the bong.

He scarfed all the cookies but eschewed the cold milk, 

“This Strawberry Lemonade is smoother than silk,”

He said with a smile and a hearty ho-ho, 

“I do think it’s time that I had one more bowl.”

So he hit “Great Success,” and when he was done,

He said that the Ogre was surely the one.

I had to agree with his final conclusion 

The stuff gives my brain a sure-fire contusion.

One that I find has the right combination,

Of blueberry goodness for our celebration.

On Christmas Day-we’ve some beef and a duck, 

And if there’s no snow, we’ll call it good luck.

Snow may not bother the dude with the beard,

But the rest of us here, know the snow must be cleared.

Before we can leave our mountain behind,

To go into town and replenish the wine.

Whether it’s red or it’s white, whatever is clever,

That will help me get on with my merry endeavor:

Which is to bid Merry Christmas to all whom I know,

May your day be superior and all your stress low,

Even if your family is flipping its wig, 

Grab the bong and soon find, you'll be dancing a jig.

This may not have been our very best year,

With politics making me cry in my beer,

But for one day at least, I’ll put it aside,

And try to forget that something has died:

Here in our country where freedom once rang,

Instead of a cashbox and the sound of a bang,

As the door to our freedoms has swung tightly shut,

All because of a narcissist butt.

The good news for me, at least on this day,

Is that I had the foresight to ferret away,

One last Bhang chocolate bar of delight, 

To help me stay mellow long into the night…

Merry Christmas!