Dauntlessly Brainless

Dauntlessly Brainless

Sarah Palin for Secretary of Veterans Affairs? I must admit, her name leaped into my pea-brain also, for this particular job, and why not? Sarah-Darling has never served in the military, she has no experience dealing in foreign affairs and we all know that the president-elect has promised throughout his campaign, that he would make looking after our veterans his No.1 priority.

Wink, wink...

Considering the closest President Malproddunt has ever come to serving in a military capacity, is the time he spent at a military academy as a teen, it makes sense that he would appoint Sarah-Darling as the person in charge of the VA. “I always thought I was in the military,” he explained of the experience.

And let’s not forget that Sarah has a son who served in Iraq. Making her Secretary of Veterans Affairs makes about as much sense as assigning the position to a well-trained chipmunk, although the chipmunk would be more likely to complete the four-year term.

Others also supporting the selection of the thinking-challenged former governor, include: 

SkepticSmash Podcast: "Cabinet starting to look more like a Jerry Springer Show lineup."

Sarah Jones: "For the love of God, do not let Sarah Palin near veterans-or anyone else."

bennydiego: "Sarah Palin may be appointed to head Veteran Affairs. OMG Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin on SNL? See? There is something good about this."

Pete Acquaviva: "Sarah Palin isn't even qualified to run a Dairy Queen but sure let's put her up for Veterans Affairs, not like that's a tough job."

Though Sarah once quipped that the closest she ever came to dealing with foreign affairs, was the fact that her state shares a border with Russia, I don’t think we should allow her lack of experience, to cloud our vision of her undoubted success.

How can I be so certain that Sarah will be successful at the position of VA director? All I have to do is examine Malproddunt’s own military record, to rest assured that he knows what he is doing. Oh, yes, he has an agenda.

For instance, do not dwell on the president-elect’s fuzzy memory about how he avoided Vietnam. He attributed his success to a high number in the draft lottery, but in reality, that came later. He was deferred because of bone spurs. 

Pay no heed to the fact that this six-foot-two-inch athlete played football, tennis and squash on the college level, without any physical issues, and that the bone spurs magically healed on their own, without surgery.

Besides, according to the virile president-elect, he served his own personal Vietnam conflict, in that it was a tough job to avoid sexually transmitted diseases. “It was like the Vietnam era. It is my own personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave soldier.”

Smirk, smirk. I am brave.

We all know how much bravery it requires to grab a woman's genitals. And then brag about it.

Malproddunt does have experience working with veterans affairs, however, after lobbying for years to have the homeless veterans in their street vendors’ stalls on Fifth Avenue, removed. Quite successfully, as it turned out. 

And support for the military? 

In at least three instances reported by Huffington Post, Malproddunt’s companies have fired or refused to hire, military reservists because there was a conflict in scheduling. Federal law prohibits employees being penalized for absences caused by military service.

Finally, who could forget the derision Malproddunt expressed towards John McCain in 2015, when he mocked McCain for being shot down and captured? “He was a war hero because he was captured,” the president-elect blurted out. “I like people who weren’t captured.”

Well, lucky for those of us who served, Malproddunt has captured Sarah-Darling for the person best qualified to run the VA. Buddha knows there are enough problems with the VA to keep Sarah busy for at least half of her term, before one of those pesky book-ops crops up. 

Sarah’s tenure as governor of Alaska was tragically cut short, halfway through. Wikipedia cites her reason as “due to the costs and distractions of battling ethics investigations…” Well, no wonder! Spending $1.9 million to dodge those incessant ethics investigations, does drain one’s enthusiasm for actually working.

And speaking of not working, Veterans Affairs ought to be a match made in heaven for our dauntless Sarah. Dauntless and brainless, bless her pointy little head.

When it comes right down to the nitty-gritty, now that you mention it, Republicans don’t give a flying fuck about veterans, anyway. Vets have served their purpose, that of wielding the weapons of profit, so what better way to show contempt for “heroes,” shot down or not, than to appoint Sarah-Darling as head honcho at the VA?