Who's Running the Show?

Who's Running the Show?

The name of the program is “Who’s Running the Show?” and the answer today, is Ashley Roachclip, in place of Cheech and Chong, who could not make it. He represents Fed-Up Express Delivery, right out of Redwood Valley, or RV, as we call it here on Who’s Running the Show? because it seems they are on vacation. Ha! Ha!

Standing in for Fed-Up Express!

Could we get a warm round of applause here, for our special guest?

As you know, each week on Who’s Running, we substitute high-profile guests for the actual folks in the business, to gain a different perspective. Neither Cheech nor Chong was able to actually be in the studio with us, but they have sent a more than adequate replacement. This seems appropriate, considering Fed-Up Express obviously sent in a substitute, also. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ashley Roachclip!

Let’s get started. Mr. Roachclit, today’s contestant had high expectations for your company’s performance, it being his first experience with Fed-Up Express Delivery. His package, though clearly American, was detained. We’d like to know, what’s up with that?

Uh, that’s RoachcliP, thanks. Nothing happened. He had high expectations so he should not have been disappointed. Next question. That was too easy. 

Today is Wednesday. Your shop received the package last Friday. Why does it take six days for you to actually deliver?

I'm not into time, Man.

Mr. Roachchip, today’s contestant has not left his residence in almost a month. That’s why he ordered from Fed-Up Express, who delivers. Do you indeed, deliver?

Though a rolling stone gathers no moss, a sitting duck might get shot. Your contestant needs to get out more often.

Mr. Roachdip, your driver left a package at a business in town, with political perspectives that are the polar opposite, of those of our contestant. Though they were too gracious to mention that fact, did you think that was going to work out OK?

It’s a well-known fact, that polar opposites attract, but it didn’t work in this case. How were we supposed to know the contestant is bipolar himself? All equations go out the window.

Mr. Roachlip, your driver left the package for our contestant’s son to deliver, even though the son has not lived in the residence for fifteen years. How long did you think that umbilical cord stretched?

If I can stretch this lid out to include the sound-effects guy, your contestant can stretch that cord out just a tad more. We all have to make sacrifices.

Mr. Roachnip, Fed-Up Express Delivery told our contestant not once, but twice, that his package would be delivered on a specific day, and neither time did they “deliver,” pun intended. Wouldn’t that make you upset?

Hey, what if it had been a summons? And it got delayed until after Valentine’s Day? Wouldn’t that be cool?

Mr. Clip, what if it were a Valentine’s Day gift, and it were delayed until the day after Valentine's Day?

Well, wow, that would be really fucked.

Oops! We’re out of time, folks! Hope you enjoyed this segment of the show…

Mr. Roachclip? Could I have a word with you, please?