What They Say: What I hear

What They Say: What I Hear

Dad, can I borrow the car?  I want to make a quick trip into town.

Dad, can I borrow the car?  I want to get into that death-trap, and travel at breakneck speed on the highway, paying no attention to the fact that there are a lot of crazy drivers out there.

Dad, any chance you will buy me a Toyota four-wheel-drive pickup truck?  Then I could haul the trash and the recycling to the dump.

Dad, any chance you will buy me a Toyota four-wheel-drive pickup truck so that I can, well, pick up chicks and show off both the truck and the chick to my friends?  It would enhance my “teacher’s kid” status, immensely.

Dad, can we watch TV for a little while?

Dad can we watch TV for the next six to eight hours, instead of filling the wood box, or working on our history day project, while at the same time requiring that the generator be gassed, oiled and fired up, by you, big guy?  That way we can develop life-long habits of sloth and degeneracy. 

Dad, I’m thinking of making some cookies to take to our classroom party.  Will you help me?

Dad, I’m thinking of making some cookies to take to our classroom party.  Rather than have me destroy the kitchen, would you just do it for me?  I’ll even give you some.

Dad, Mom says I have to ask you if I can go on the field trip to San Francisco.  We’re leaving tomorrow at 4:30AM and someone needs to take me to school then.

Dad, Mom is so angry that I waited until the last second, that she has sent me in here so that you can rattle my cage, and not require that the entire family have to be at school at 430, because I did not make arrangements to stay at a friend’s house overnight.

Dad, can we get a Nintendo 64?  All of our friends have one.

Dad, can we get a Nintendo 64?  We do not have enough distractions already to prevent our chores and school responsibilities from getting done.

Dad, when are you going to let me use a chain-saw?

Dad, when are you going to let me use a chain-saw, so that I can proceed to cause great mayhem, and bodily harm?

Dad, if you let us get a quad, we’ll be able to go out and get firewood way easier.  What do you say?

Dad, if you let us get a quad, we promise not to go up the steepest of hills, running the risk of flipping that 500 pound baby back on top of one of us.  But you know it’s going to happen at some point in time.

Dad, did you know that I love you?

Dad, did you know that I love you?

At least the important questions didn’t need translation.