The No-Tell Motel

Did you see the meme that referenced the Willits Bypass, in relation to this being Reggae on the River weekend? There are a lot of happy campers out there, pleased to be able to skip the long delays, that passing through Willits used to create. I can also say for a certainty that there are some Willits residents who are also pleased that there is a bypass.

These would not be business owners, who obviously benefited from the forced slow-down, their chances of luring customers into their shops much enhanced by the need for vehicles to proceed slowly. It afforded the opportunity for tourists to become aware that these establishments even existed in the first place, and secondly, gave them a chance to escape the reality of gridlock, at least for a while.

I can assert that some Willits residents are pleased, because as of the first of this month, I have the keys to a unit that Gluten-Free Mama and I have rented. This is a return engagement for us, the second time in the last six years that we have taken an apartment in Willits.

The first was just after GF Mama was diagnosed with kidney cancer, in August of 2012, when she had to be near her primary health provider. There was no way she could have been on the mountain that first year for sure, and all together, we had our Pine Street spot for three years.

Circumstances forced us to give up our little “No-Tell Motel” just over three years ago, but now the time has come when we need GF Mama to have closer access to health care, once again. Ultimately, we have to balance the need to be in Willits, and how much hassle that is, with simply having a full-time rental unit.

Having a year-round spot in Willits does not mandate that we be in Willits at all times; it simply gives us options. If things are going smoothly, then we can be up here on the mountain. If we hit a rocky patch, then we can head back down. It will be especially nice to be able to avoid some of the more dramatic winter weather on the mountain.

I will be the floater, rotating back and forth as my responsibilities dictate. Between the critters and the farm, I have job security on this mountain. That being said, it has long since been established that I do not enjoy time spent by myself. There was a lot of that back in 2012, and it was not easy going. So there is motivation to make like a ping-pong ball and bounce back and forth.

Being in the city is not without its bennies. Go to de furnace and push de button. Voila! No wheelbarrow required. Out of the vent streams warmth at a ridiculously reasonable price. I found last time that heating our spot in Willits with gas, was absurdly cheap, compared to heating our home on the mountain with wood stoves. 

Five cords of wood at about four hundred bones each is two thousand dollars. We never paid more than fifty bucks a month to heat our little apartment, so around $400.00 total for eight months. Who’d a thought?

GF Mama is looking forward to walking around Willits, as we did so much the first time around. Exercise is always important, but even more so for what she has going on. The problem up here on the mountain is that the dust from Bell Springs Road is a factor, and that will not be as pronounced in Willits.

At least we hope not, but there is construction going on, so we may have to wait on the walking. We enjoyed being able to walk to Ardella’s, when it was still open, and we loved walking on some of those back roads of Willits. And I would be remiss if I did not give a shout-out to The Shanachie Pub, a grand place to see live music while indulging in a glass of red. 

I had a regular route that Dozer the bulldog and I followed, every morning and evening that we were there, just as I will establish a routine for Ellie Mae. The rules do not allow us to keep Ellie Mae overnight, but the rules did not allow for Dozer either, and somehow that rule got overruled. 

A lot will depend on how Ellie Mae does when she visits, because visits are allowed. She does great in our home on the mountain, only barking when someone opens the front door, and that will not be much of a factor down in Willits. We do not anticipate that front door doing much opening and closing, unless it is us.

Being down in Willits with BenJamIn also being down there is a huge plus. His years of EMT experience provide a security blanket for GF Mama that I cannot. I can offer moral support, I can clean up any and all messes, but I am not the one to call on when GF Mama needs medical support. 

I’m not saying that the sight of blood makes me squeamish; I’m saying it can render me useless, as in passed out on the kitchen floor. This is not the image I like to project, but it’s the one I am stuck with. At times like these, I like to keep handy a few of those images of me with a mop in one hand, and a scrub brush in the other. I am a hell of a pot walloper, and I keep my stove immaculate, not to mention the toilet.

I'll have to dig out the old skateboard. Cough.

It’s not as glamorous as being an EMT, but keeping the house clean and tidy means that GF Mama does not have to worry her pretty head about it. Besides, I live to sweep cobwebs off the ceiling. Who doesn’t?

Finally, even though I can concoct a reasonable facsimile, there is nothing like the real McCoy, so I am grateful to be once again hanging out in the land of lattes. If I am not mistaken, we are within easy strolling distance of April May’s fine coffee establishment, towards the north end of town.

This could be the start of a long and happy routine for me and Ellie Mae.