I'm on Board!

I’m on board!

I have to admit I have been dragging my feet, even going so far as to be disrespectful to our new President, if calling him a dirty, rotten, lying, sorry sack of bull-stuff, can be said to be disrespectful. Hell, I even refused to call him by his given name, Dopey-er, sorry, old habits, you know. That’s Donnie!

I may have been dragging my feet, but I am here to tell you that is all in the past. I'm on board now! I was all worried about the elderly and the poor people in this country, when I should have been worried about the billionaires. I have now seen the light.

If we continue to coddle the 43 million poverty-stricken people in this country, what good is that going to do them?

It does no good whatsoever because they’ll never “snap out of it” if we continue to baby these losers. I call them losers because who the hell is incompetent enough to be poor in the first place? 

If you are so inept as to not have been born into wealth, then there is patently nothing to be done for you, and the Republican Party has seen this wisdom. Though I am not a Republican, I have come around to this way of thinking also.

I just think a better job could be done.

A dime? If they REALLY gotta go
they'll pay a hell of a lot more
than a lousy dime. Just sayin'

Start with pay toilets. You know, “Here I sit, broken-hearted, paid a dime to shit, but only farted?” A dime!? Hell, make it a buck, and charge extra for toilet paper.

LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

Why can’t we charge visitors to hospitals, a fee to visit their loved ones? That’ll teach ‘em to get sick.

Even better, we should charge a fee every time people go to church, since they will insist on doing so. It’s time to show those Catholics how to really gouge their parishioners. You want eternal salvation, Baby?

It’s gonna cost ya.

We should charge people to go miniature golfing, but not “real” golfing, because we want to be careful about whom it is we are gouging. 

Next, we could charge folks to go visit Granny. 

I can already hear the whining from the Bleeding Sniverals: But what if you can’t afford to go see Grandma? Won’t all the grandmas be sad? 

Ah, that’s where motivation comes in. So what if you have to give up eating veggies for the month, so as to be able to visit Granny? That’s a twofer, anyway, ‘cause those damn veggies are so much more expensive than Ramen. Or Captain Crunch.

Nah, if it’s all about making money-and it most certainly is-then let’s do it right.

Oh, and by the way, anybody got a buck? I gotta go talk to a man about a horse.