President Wanted: Club G.R.O.S.S. of 'Merica

President Wanted: Club G.R.O.S.S. of 'Merica 

Dear (The) Donald supporter,

As enjoyable as the entire experience has been, I must now remove myself from the political arena, because I am obviously not smart enough to recognize what you and all of your NASCAR friends have been able to see: The Donald is the Answer. 

Hell, I can’t even figure out the question.

Gosh, does that make me feel inadequate. Y’all do doublespeak so effectively, I am left on the tarmac, flattened by your rapier-like wit. I am not the fastest Formula One on the track.

I ask you how you can support a man who has such a low opinion of women, and you tell me it’s because Bill Clinton had his lollipop licked by an intern.

I ask how you can support a man who feels that women have no value past age 35, because, well, you know, fun is fun, and sagging breasts and droopy buttocks are such a turnoff to men, especially white, powerful men. You respond, “Because Hillary is a crook.”

I stay the course, and ask how you can support a man, who has to continuously restrain himself from “grabbing a little pussy?” You enlighten me that that comment was made ten years ago, and besides, Bill has done what The Donald only talked about.

Huh? Seriously, I repeat-for emphasis, in caps-HUH?

I find it the most challenging experience in the world because every single point of contention about The Donald, is rerouted back to Hilary or Bill, whose name(s) I never mention.

It’s like asking someone what time it is, and having her tell me that it is Sunday. It makes as much sense. I ask her, "What difference does it make if a man makes a comment like The Donald did today, or ten years ago?" The contempt and revulsion I feel for this man and his sexist attitude, is immeasurable.

Please, when I ask you a question about The Donald, respond with an answer that addresses the question. It's a small thing but would make me happy.

The Donaldo is the kind of individual who creates an uphill battle for decent men everywhere, who are as repulsed by this alleged candidate for the nation’s top office, as clear-thinking women. What if The Donald should be in the midst of a debriefing with a female world leader, and feel so compelled to grab a little something/something, that he can’t control himself?

What if his star status isn’t enough to get him a free grope, and she has the unmitigated gall to snivel about it? To the media? What then?

My personal objection to The Donald is that he represents the America that I detest. Like America, and its earlier innate belief in the right to all land “from sea to shining sea,” he takes what he wants. A lot of ‘Mericans like his style.

He is loud, he is vulgar and he is a star.

Supporters have bought The Donald's party line that all Muslim immigrants are ISIS soldiers in disguise, and that these immigrants are slinking around STEALING benefits more rightfully due veterans, and that has all the Donaldo’s supporters in a lather.

As if there isn’t enough money around for both.

The Donald is, of course, a guns rights kind of guy; guns are good for business. The Donald keeps his words short, he repeats them a lot and he doesn’t worry whether or not the words are true.

It is a proven fact that if you repeat something often enough, and everyone around you agrees, that it must be true.

Repeat after me, “The Donald would make a great President!”

OK, here goes, “The Donald would make a great president... of Calvin and Hobbs’s G.R.O.S.S. club: “Get Rid Of Slimy girlS.

That’s the best I can do.

Sincerely,

Markie