You know you just might live in the country if...

You know you just might live in the country if...

You know you just might live in the country if:

…you leave the keys to your truck in the ignition at all times because you never know when your neighbor might need to borrow it…

…there is a chicken spending the night in your living room, because it needs some TLC…

…you are chased by a wild boar on Thanksgiving morning, while walking your bulldog down by the pond…

He may be hard to see in this pic, but he was
not hard to see in real life, and he was scary...

…you have to jockey for position with the grader on Bell Springs Road…

…your idea of a fantasy getaway, is a weekend up in Eureka, shopping for groceries…

…your ears are assaulted all day long by a rooster, who thinks it is a hen…

…you are greeted on the driveway leading past the farm, by a three or four dogs, all doing their best Mick Jagger impressions…and succeeding….

…you leave the tap water on at night to prevent freezing, and it freezes anyway because you did not leave the spigot open far enough…

…when the power goes out, you just go out and gas up the generator…

…you don’t wig out when the house gets buffeted around by 55MPH winds…

…everything you eat at breakfast, lunch and dinner is produced on-farm…

…the folks around you keep an eye on your spot when you are off the mountain, because they know you will do the same for them when they are away…

…you look up from your front porch to see a red-tailed hawk perched on the dead snag across the crick…

…you happen to see a bobcat swoop down on a fawn, and then see two of the farm dogs rescue the fawn by chasing the cat away…

…you own only two sets of footwear (sandals and steel-toed boots), and you haven’t worn the boots in a year…

…you have internet reception, but only on its terms…

…you have to go out and knock the snow off of the DISH antenna every so often, so as to be able to continue watching television…

Christmas, 2015

…the smell of wood smoke in August alarms you to distraction…

…the hardest chore you have to do all day, is hang out waiting for the *%$&#*& chickens to come in at night, so you can lock the little such-and-suches up and go to bed…

…the first sound you hear every morning is the rooster, doing his thing like a normal rooster…

…you can identify tanagers, nut-hutches, red-tails, stellar jays, wood-peckers, ravens, ducks (on the pond), doves, screech owls, plovers, meadowlarks, titmouses, pileated woodpeckers, and turkeys by sight and by sound…

…you are constantly awakened and serenaded by coyotes, early in the wee hours…

…you have to plan for at least five cords of oak/madrone to make it through the winter…

…the last time you had trick-or-treaters was Halloween, 1989…

...you see chickens roosting in an oak tree...

…you have to park your truck a quarter-mile away, at the top of your driveway, to help ensure you can get off the mountain in the snow…

…when you cook, you never know how many farmhands will show up to eat, or when they will storm in…

…you can pick a bouquet of different wildflowers every time you walk outside…

…you are followed around on-farm, by any one of a half-dozen cats…

...you constantly find scorpions inside your house, without a clue as to how they got in...

…you routinely cook twice as much for the big midday meal as is needed, because you know as sure as sugar that they WILL. BE. BACK…

…you keep a black widow spider in a jar in the kitchen for two years as a pet; we loved that Molly like she was a dog….

…you do not own a dishwasher, microwave, clothes dryer, or toaster...

…you can just get so fed up with the summer heat, that you are forced to go take a dip in the pond…

Paradise with an ocean view...

...your house does not have air conditioning or central heating…

…you have a little patch of plants in your backyard that produce “happy smoke”…

…you fight to stay up and watch the Giants on CSNBA, which begins at 7:10 PM, and fail miserably, repeatedly…

…you take care of your neighbor’s light-dep when he is gone away because he will take care of yours when you are gone…

…your idea of a good time is fire up the burn pile so that you can watch the dogs chase the ground squirrels around…

…you look up at the Sunday community baseball game and see nothing but dust as the players suddenly had to leave to go fight a wildfire…

…every day is another day in paradise…