Ellie Mae

Ellie Mae
Beautiful Ellie Mae

Freddie, the French Bulldog

Freddie, the French Bulldog
Lazing on a sunny afternoon

The artist

The artist
Ollie Mac

Ollie and Annie

Ollie and Annie
Azorean grandmother

Acrylics and watercolors

Acrylics and watercolors
Cannabis and sunflowers

Papa and Ollie Mac

Papa and Ollie Mac
Priorities, Baby

Acrylics and watercolors

Acrylics and watercolors
Hollyhocks

Mahlon Masling Blue

Mahlon Masling Blue
My friend and brother.

Mark's E-mail address

bellspringsmark@gmail.com

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Run, Boy, Run


Run, Boy, Run
Terry put on his left turn signal, eased into the fast lane, and accelerated his Toyota sedan past the 65MPH point, until he had passed the sluggish-moving pickup truck, before swinging back into the right-hand lane, allowing his little Camry to drop back down to 65.  He was returning from the city, and was on that two-lane stretch between Cloverdale and Hopland, heading north on the 101, on a night completely devoid of light: no moon, no stars, all obscured by the March overcast.  He reached over and changed the radio station, and was delighted to encounter a favorite ditty by Charlie Daniels, a song that he always associated with his wilder days when he was still young and bursting with vim and vinegar.
He turned the music up just a touch, “The devil opened up his case and he said, ‘I’ll start this show.’  And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow.  And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss.  Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somethin’ like this.
Almost immediately, as though the radio were a guiding force, a pair of headlights bore down on him from behind, the intensity of the high-beams making him squint in order to be able to maintain his position between the white lines before him.  He waited for the vehicle to swing out wide, and pass him, growing annoyed by the prolonged presence of the xenon headlights, considerably more blinding than its conventional cousin, the headlights that come stock on most cars.
He maintained his speed momentarily, assuming whoever it was, would continue past him, so he could get that glare out of his eyes.  Christ, that was bright.  He flicked the dimmer knob on his rear-view mirror , giving his eyes some relief, when he became aware that the guy behind him was so close, that the headlights were practically on top of him.  What on tarnation was this clown trying to prove?  If he wanted to go faster than 65, then he should knock himself out, thought Terry.
By now he was beginning to get hot under his collar, and everywhere else, too, as he took his foot off the accelerator, and allowed his little Toyota to begin to slow down.  This shouldn’t take long, he thought.
And just like magic, the vehicle swung wide and stormed past him, getting ahead by less than a car-length, before whipping directly to the right, and ending up right in front of Terry, when the driver unexpectedly hit his brakes!  
“What in the flock are you doing, a-hole?” hollered Terry out loud, so startled was he by the actions of this lunatic.  At the same instant his mind registered the fact that the marauding vehicle was the same beat-up pickup that he had passed a couple of minutes before.  Only instead of being some powerless antique, it was a Dodge Ram from the early eighties, and it had a 440 cubic inch engine in it, about double the number of horses, he had under the hood of his little Camry.  Let’s face it; he didn’t have to be anywhere in that big of a hurry, that he needed anything more powerful.  Until now.  
When the devil finished, Johnny said, “Well, you’re pretty good old son, but sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it’s done.
Terry reacted more than anything else when the madman hit the brakes.  He veered back into the fast lane, and floored it, not stopping until the little Camry had topped ninety miles an hour, faster than Terry had ever pushed it.  He just was not into speed.   
“Fire on the mountain.  Run, boys, run.  The devil’s in the house of the Rising Sun.  Chicken in the bread pan pickin’ out dough.  Granny, does your dog bite?  No, child, no.
Now, as he sped along at such an insane speed, he was momentarily overcome by panic, his heart leaping into his throat, and his gut seizing control of his attention, long enough for him realize just how crazy the whole thing was.
Crazy?  thought Terry.  More like deranged.  But he would quibble with terms, as soon as he had extricated himself from this devil’s clutches.  Instinctively, his foot had let up on the gas, as his eyes raked the rear view mirror for those high beams.  Inexplicably, the rearview mirror revealed nothing.
It wouldn’t, of course, because the demon had flipped off his headlights, and was now bearing down on the little Camry like an owl on a mouse.  
The truck hit the Camry going at least ten miles an hour faster, sending a surge of palpable fear coursing through Terry’s body.  For the first time, it occurred to him, that this was a deadly game, from which he was uncertain, he would emerge in one piece.  This was a real unfortunate time to make this realization.
Or, maybe it was the best time, because Terry was not ready to cash in his chips.  He had way too much going for him to allow that to happen.  So he stepped up his game.
“Fire on the mountain.  Run, boys, run. 
The impact of that truck hitting his little defenseless sedan, sent a bolt of anger, lightning-quick through his body, as he fought to maintain control of his forward progress.  He had plunged his foot down on the accelerator pedal again, realizing that to do anything else, was to allow the fiend to smack him again.  But that Ram truck was not ready to let him go so easily.  
Terry could see it maneuvering into the fast lane, still again, as the fothermucker slammed his boot to the floor again, and the roar of that engine dwarfed everything else.  Terry knew what the imbecile was trying to do.  He wanted to draw abreast, and then force Terry off the road.  Terry needed to send this monster a clear message that he was not to be trifled with-anymore, that is. 
Sitting on the floor of the passenger side beside him, was a four-pound mall, that he had tossed in the car the previous day, when he’d gone to the park and set up the horse shoe stakes.  Reaching decisively for it, and then hitting the electric switch on his window, he acted within the few second window of opportunity, as the truck bore down on him, to heave the mall backward, and to the left, gripping the steering wheel with his right hand, to maintain control.  Any thought that he would have to answer for his actions down the line, was completely removed from his mind.  He was bent on surviving this most immediate test of his endurance, before he worried about the next.  Besides, as he saw the flames of the wreck behind him climbing high into the dark night sky, he doubted whether his fingerprints would survive the heat.
“The devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat.  And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny’s feet.  Johnny said, ‘Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again.  ‘Cause I told you once you son of a bitch, I’m the best there’s ever been.'”

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Some Semblance of Normalcy


This is the thirtieth in a series of episodes, detailing my dawning realization, that I have some mental issues, that I must address, or risk losing those around me, who mean so much to me.  I do not know how many installments this will entail, because I do not have an outline, for this particular avenue, that my Life has chosen to pursue.  Because I have always found writing to be therapeutic, I am going to share my journey with anyone, who cares to read along.   Believe me, I am not having that much fun.
Some Semblance of Normalcy
As I signed off on the previous of these episodes, I alluded to making forward progress with both feet firmly on the ground, and how that would be the challenge.  Now, eight days later, I find that I have had the smoothest eight consecutive days in recent memory.  I have meticulously included all relevant information on the mood chart, and recognize that I am in a current Eurythmic period.  It’s very possible that I may remain stabilized for months on end, over the course of the summer, with its light and warmth, and the ease with which I will be able to find employment to pay the bills.
On the other hand, there is no way to determine in advance what the future holds.  Despite the overall smoothness of the past week, I have been grappling with irritability for the last few days.  I can’t get over finding out that this is a characteristic of mood spectrum disorder.  I have always assumed that circumstances combined to cause irritability.  I never realized that starting out predisposed to being annoyed, would mean that no matter what I attempted to accomplish, I would encounter hard times.
Recognizing this aspect of my disorder, makes me realize that any event can serve as a stressor, and exacerbate the whole illness.  I have given a fair amount of thought (as compared to obsessing about it in the past) to two upcoming events in the beginning of June.  The first is Nathaniel’s graduation from the  Cal Fire Engineers’ Academy in Ione, an event I attended last year, when Ben graduated from the same academy.  Having been through it once, I should do well the second time through.  
However, only two days separate Lito’s graduation, and nephew TJ’s wedding in the Placerville area.  So that means some yo-yoing back and forth between Bell Springs and the Central Valley.  Now is when Annie and I sit down and make a plan that covers some basic questions.  The object is to plan a course of action that creates the least amount of stress.
This must sound kind of mundane, because doesn’t everyone naturally attempt to minimize stress?  Isn’t that standard operating procedures?  Most would agree, but in our case, we attempt to consider all factors, and weigh the enjoyment of doing one complex thing, in place of a simpler, though probably less enjoyable course of action.
We began by determining that we need to travel by ourselves.  In  one infamous trip earlier, when we had carpooled, a conflict had arisen because not everyone was on the same page, as far as how late to stay.  We could avoid this kind of unnecessary problem, by traveling by ourselves.  The second issue is whether or not to stay overnight, which would be a no-brainer normally, but money is still tight.  The further into the summer we get, the easier money will be, because I will be able to work at least four hours a day, and that will set us up well.
So we are going to see what this next week brings, so that we can reserve a room for one night, for each of the two events.  Though both Annie and I feel that having to drive there and back is doable, I see it as unnecessarily brutal.  I struggle to go to Mendocino every Friday, because it means at least five hours riding in the car, and that’s hard for me.
It is farther to the Central Valley, and then to have to attend the event, knowing it was another three plus hours back home, I think would weigh heavily on my mind.  I look for the hidden razor blades, that serve as obstacles to great success, and address them one by one.  This is not like the trip to Ireland, where the success was in the boarding of the plane; I still have to function while at the destination, especially the wedding.  
So I can plan the optimum transportation, bring along sandwiches, so we don’t have to stop, and we can get lodging.  There is no more winging it, or flying by the seat of my pants.  That works when you are flying along on all eight cylinders.  I don’t actually know how many of my original cylinders are still on point.  It doesn’t really matter.  The ones that are still operating are the ones calling the shots, not me.  All I do is wait for instructions. 

Hello, My Name Is Mark, and I'm Addicted to FaceBook


Hello, My Name is Mark, 
And I’m addicted to FaceBook
Back during another lifetime, when I was still blogging, I wrote a few pieces on my discovery of FaceBook.  My initiation into this social networking system came about by accident, because my computer orchestrated it automatically, after I signed up to make comments on sfgiants.com.  
Lito helped me with a few of the bare bones basics, and the rest was easy.  The welcome extended to me has been overwhelming, and I am amazed every day of my life now, at the things that are presented in a continuous flow of information and good vibes.  FaceBook is astoundingly positive.  Yes, of course, people vent occasionally, but generally at this thing called life, and not so much at people, specifically. 
When that happens, frequently it is the culmination of a long and hard-fought battle, and what are you going to do?  I remember one of the first days I was on F/B, someone commented that there seemed to be a lot of negativity on the scene that day, and I took note of that.  For the most part, though, FaceBook is an ongoing revelation of the positive ideas and events that shape people’s lives.
For me, who was a part of many of your middle school educational adventures, the resulting panorama of local history on display, is fascinating.  Partly because of the fact that I was pretty secluded for a few years there, and partly because I began teaching a long time ago, on my birthday, in 1990, there has been a lot of history for me to catch up on.
In earlier posts I commented on how welcoming everyone seemed to be, especially if you struggled in middle school.  Whereas I figured the last person someone would want to encounter would be his or her middle school language arts teacher, I find that people are very forgiving.  They tend to remember the good things and let the other fade.  I cannot tell you how often people want to apologize for being “a disrespectful S.O.B.” and I always say the same thing, “That’s what you got paid the big bucks for.”
Now I see the most amazing things every day, with people sharing pictures, and making observations about the state of their own personal ships at sea.  I love the dialogue that goes on about the Giants, and those who have the nerve to follow other teams.  Of course, without these poor, misguided souls’ input, where would be the fun?  We need to have someone touting the Dodgers as the best team in the NL West, if for no other reason than to be able to poke fun at him or her.  The Dodgers?  lol
There are other noteworthy elements to admire about F/B every day.  Without F/B how would I know that Nicole has now gone two months and one day, without smoking cigarettes, and that the smell of them now makes her sick?  That is an awesome thing to read, because if I read it, then others did also.  I smoked my last cigarette on March 15, 1985, so I can identify with her ongoing efforts.  I must say though, that I still find the smell of cigarettes to be inviting... 
I absolutely love any and all mention of little people, whose pictures, and whose academic and playground accomplishments are displayed every day of the week.  There is so much to be absorbed.  I have heard criticism of FaceBook, because it is said to be addictive.  I see it like anything else that is good: too much can be a distraction, but ultimately, I take in that which I have time and interest in, and let go the rest.  
Because there is a continuous flow of good information, and valuable comments and observations, it’s not as though one must partake in it all.  I have the hardest time with internet reception, but then I think back to thirty years ago, come the 31st of this month, when Annie and i first arrived on our ridge, and I do not feel very lonely at all.  Internet service may be slow, but how slow does it have to be, before I stop being amazed at how extraordinary it is to be able to talk to Erin in Europe, or Carolyn, as she updates us from Logan Airport?
No, when the internet service is slow, I simply remember that there was a time, especially when I was still a kid, when not having the net meant not having to wait for a connection.  Well, I like the connections, and I like the resulting way it makes me feel, to know that if I walked into Geiger’s on any given day of the week, and encountered a munchkin in a stroller or on someone’s back, there is a better than even chance that I would be able to address him or her by name.
Considering I live up here on a ridge-top, and can go days on end without seeing anyone but Annie, or maybe Casey and Amber, I feel pretty plugged into this community in which I live.  Facebook may be time-consuming and addictive, but so is life.  You have to pay to play, so get in line.  This computer is already taken; but you can check out this u-tube video on Tapis Rouge-African music that will knock your socks off.  It’s all available on FaceBook.

Friday, May 18, 2012

No Guarantee


No Guarantee
Carl knew that he had made a bad choice; he just did not yet know the total extent of that poor choice.  He was about to find out.  The dude had said his name was Joe, but the only time Carl’d used the name, the guy had not responded, so he was not real sure.  Right now “Joe” had his right arm around the neck of a fair-complected 7-Eleven clerk, while his left hand clutched a small handgun, pressed up against the temple of the kid, who looked as though he were ready to barf.
The gig was not supposed to go down with any gun.  Carl didn’t even know the dude had a gun.  It was supposed to be over before the kid even knew there was a robbery.  How he even got involved with the dude in the first place was weird, because he was supposed to work with Sid, a guy he had met while doing his ninety days for cultivation.  Sid had shown up at the bar, but had begged off, citing irreconcilable differences of opinion with the “powers that existed” in his household, but he had provided a stand-in.
“Sid, what do you mean you want out?  Out of what?  Out of watching me walk around the counter, push a button, and take the loot?  What seems to be the problem?”
“The problem is I don’t want to go to jail again, and there’s no guarantee.”  Sid stopped right there.
“Guarantee?  You want a guarantee?  I’ll give you a guarantee.  I guarantee that you will still be an insurance salesman, when you retire at age 65, in let’s see, only 42 years from now, but who’s counting?  Not you, that’s for sure, because you can’t count that high.  No one can.”
“Look, I know I said I would be down for it, but my old lady just told me she’d leave me if I ended up in the can again.  Give me a break.  What am I supposed to do?”  Sid looked like he cared real bad, but that didn’t help me out at all.  I had just the opposite problem, an old lady telling me to get two hundred dollars, or get out.  I’d been in the 7=Eleven the other night when the kid had ducked back into the walk-in refrigerator, to get a keg of beer.
The plan was so easy, it was ridiculous.  The two of us were going to walk in together, and say we had ordered a keg of beer, and could he get it for us?  As soon as he went into the walk-in, I would lean over the counter, hit the retail key, watch the cash drawer pop out, and grab the big bills and split.  Sid was supposed to follow the guy back to the walk-in, to help him with the keg, but as soon as the guy walked into the fridge, Sid was simply supposed to about-face, and follow me out the door.  By the time the kid realized there was no keg for J. Skulking Bushwhack, we’d be long gone, on our way home with a fistful of bucks.
Unfortunately, when I asked for a keg for J. Skulking Bushwhack, the kid had the unmitigated gall to tell me that there was no keg for a Bushwhack.  He had one for a Thorndike, and one for Smitty, but that was the extent of the kegs.  Was there something else he could help us with?  How was I supposed to know that the clerk was the same one who handled the ordering of the kegs?  While we’re on the subject of things I didn’t know, I had no clue that Joe would suddenly take matters into his own hands, in the form of the kid.  He simply reached across the countertop, and grabbed a handful of thick blond hair, and pulled him back across the counter, with the kid lashing out with his shoes.  What on earth was he thinking?
One bad choice, did not really leave much room for a second one, so I thought fast, and acted even quicker.  Joe never knew that what hit him over the back of his head, was a bottle of highly priced tequila, and he never really cared.  By the time he woke up, he was staring into the faces of six of the city’s finest, while they readied him for the short journey to his new home.  
I, on the other hand, was high-tailing it over to Lucky’s place, to take out a small loan, about 200 bucks, to be exact.  Never having seen Joe, before in my life, I was counting on him not being able to finger me to the authorities.  I would worry about getting the money back to Lucky tomorrow.  Right now, I was avoiding the 7-Eleven, and anything to do with Sid.  As far as Joe was concerned, Joe Who?

Thursday, May 17, 2012

A Time and Place


A Time and Place
Stella was thirteen and in the eighth grade.  Like a lot of eighth graders, she knew it all and was always more than willing to share her knowledge.  Unlike a lot of thirteen-year-olds, she was responsible, dependable and mature for her age.  Stella did not routinely follow the herd, but chose instead to blaze her own trail, which is one reason her parents trusted her.
However, up until this point, there had been minimal conflict between Stella and her parents, because when Stella asked to do something, it always had the proper seal of approval: there were always other responsible kids involved and there was always adult supervision.  What more could they ask for, when it came to thirteen-year-old girls?
As graduation approached, and with it the summertime, Stella began to set her sights on an annual event that she had never expressed interest in before.  She had been seeing the sign on the highway for the Kate Wolf Memorial Music Festival, and she knew a bunch of kids who were going.  By the time the festival was scheduled to occur, she would be out of middle school, and on her way to ninth grade.  Attending the festival seemed an appropriate way to welcome in her high school career.  Unfortunately, Stella’s parents did not see it the same way.  
Joy was honestly torn, listening to her daughter’s well-thought-out argument, and vacillating already, without even having consulted Bobby.  She knew in which direction he leaned, but figured that he would listen to Stella’s reasoning, and respond accordingly.  She had told Bobby how she felt.  After all, Stella had never before been on the verge of entering high school.  There was a time and place for everything: Had that time arrived? 
“So what do you think, Daddy?  Have I earned the right to go to the festival?”  She had presented her arguments in an organized manner, as befits what she learned in her debate elective.  She had been methodical, listing her reasons why she thought she should be allowed to go, and detailing the logistics behind where she would be staying on the grounds.  Now she waited, expectantly.
“It’s not that you have earned or not earned the right,” he began, but that was as far as he got.
“Because you’re not going to let me go, are you?  It doesn’t matter whether or not I have earned the right, because you’re not even considering it, are you?  Mom, you said you’d talk to him.”  She spat out the word “him.”  She did everything but burst into tears, but that was still a distinct possibility.
“Stella, Honey, just hold on a second, and listen to your dad.”
“Why?  So he can tell me I’m not old enough?  Well, I’m not old enough for a lot of things I could be doing, but I’m not doing them, either.  When are you going to trust me to make my own decisions?”
“When are you going to let me talk?  Can we just discuss this even for a minute, without you assuming anything?  You’re already crying, and all I did was talk about earning the right.  You never let me complete my thought.”  His tone was mild, but experience told Stella, that the quieter he got, the more it paid to listen up.
“Well, when I already know what you are going to say, so why should I listen?”  Stella was beginning to feel as though she were taking the wrong approach, but she was committed at this point.
“Why, indeed?”  Again, that musing, quiet approach.  “May I ask you one thing?”  He was in no hurry.
“What?  Are you just going to lecture me?”  Again, she had to squeeze back her tears, reserving that as her last resort.
“No, I wasn’t planning to.  I was going to ask you why it was that you were so sure, that I was going to say no.  Can you give me what you think is my biggest concern?”  As soon as he put it into the form of a question, prompting some sort of response, as in a debate, Stella felt back on familiar ground.
“My safety?” she asked tentatively.
“Well, all right!  You know me well.  Yes, you health and your safety, but also your wellbeing.  If I didn’t care, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.  But I do care, and we are sitting here talking.”
Sensing that she was better off listening than yammering on, she waited.
He continued.  “I ran into your principal today at The Good Food Store, and she gave me this,” and reaching into his jacket pocket, he withdrew an envelope with a Laytonville Unified School District return address, and handed it to her.  As she opened the single sheet of paper, he placed a three-day pass to the 2012 Kate Wolf Memorial Music Festival onto the table.  “Congratulations, you have been selected to receive the President’s Award for Educational Excellence....” began the letter.
She stopped reading and picked up the pass, looking at her dad, with comprehension.
He finished his opening thought.  “It’s not that you have earned or not earned the right, but that you have demonstrated consistently that you have your values and your education clearly in focus, so that means your mom and I think that you can handle this event as befits someone who has worked hard, all year long.  Make wise choices and have fun!”  

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Pretty Easy to Please


Pretty Easy to Please
They were standing in front of the counter at the local building yard, each with a list of various materials he needed to pick up, in order to continue forward progress on their respective projects.  Like many other do-it-yourselfers, Ken and Harvey had their own specialties, and navigated their way through Mendocino County highways and bi-ways, not afraid to venture off the beaten track.  There were a lot more unbeaten tracks available than beaten ones.
“What do you say, there Amigo?”  Ken greeted Harvey enthusiastically, having known him since he first arrived on the mountain.
“I say nothing, until I know what the charges are,” replied Harvey.  “Are you getting long with your work, old friend, or are you simply getting along?”  Harvey was looking over chisels, trying to decide if he needed something between one and one and a half inches. 
“A little of both, I expect.  But then I expect a lot, like maybe seeing the Giants beating the Dodgers occasionally.  How about you?  Still doing tile at Lon’s?”  Ken had grabbed a new chalk box, and added it to a growing pile on the counter.
“No, milked that cow dry.  Good gig, that one, but all good things come to an end.  I heard that once.”  Harvey decided that he could not do without that inch and a quarter chisel, so he pulled it down off the hook.  “Been over to Spy Rock, working on a mixed bag: cement water tank on the one hand, deck and railing on the other.”
“Ha!  The bitter with the sweet.  Haven’t messed with tanks in a month of Sundays, and then some.  Shoulder won’t do it any more.”  Ken shifted his right shoulder around, grimacing slightly.
“Nothing you can do about it?” asked Harvey.
“Nothing I want to do about it.  Besides, there’s technically nothing wrong-just cranky, especially when working with concrete, so I don’t.  Or if I do, it’s grout for my tile, and that’s not the same thing.”
The bells mounted on the door to the shop jangled, and in walked Greg, brightening as he saw his friends already at the counter.  He ambled over, swaggering as he fished a piece of paper out of his pocket, and gave it a look-see.  “Nothing like a good solid chunk of work to get you in the right frame of mind.  What are you two no-goods up to?  I can only imagine-no good.”  He laughed at his own wit, and the others joined in.
“Kind of manic, today, there, are we, Greg?” Harvey smiled when he asked the question.
“No more than usual.  Got four hours of sleep-that ain’t bad for me.  What I did got,” he laughed again, “was away from Mac and his power trip.  That boy has quite the ego.  He likes to play the boss and give orders.  Never worked with a guy up here on the ridge who saw it that way.  The rest of us just work together, to git her done.  I swear to Buddha, he even demanded that we listen to that music crap from the coast.  He demanded it.  Said he’d earned the right to call the shots on the music.  Said he had a contractor’s license, and that give him the right.”  Greg shook his weather-beaten head again.
“Well, I been expecting you to get tired of it for a while.  You bitch about him enough.  It’s about time, it would seem.  Are you going to be able to land enough work on your own?”  Ken asked.
“Hell, yes.  I aim to troubleshoot for Jessie.  He’s got so much going on, that he needs one guy he can plug into any number of things, at any given time.  So what are you two doing just standing here?” 
“Waiting for them to cut me some 2 by 6 twelve footers.   All they got is tens and twenties, and neither works.  Ken, here, is waiting on the truck, which was supposed to be here an hour ago, so he’s shit out of luck.  Could be here all day.  Looks like it’s your turn.”
Earl had come out from the office to lend a hand, and he beckoned to Greg to join him.  “What’s cooking there old-timer?  What can I do you for?”
Greg strutted up to the counter, spreading out his list in front of him, and exclaiming, “Got me a project here, and I expect it ought to keep me working for a minute or two.  Let’s start with the girders.  I need...”  A few minutes later, when he had finished, Greg stepped back to join his compatriots.  “There, that ought to keep them busy for a while.  Dang me though, they’re going to charge me a delivery fee.  What kind of thing is that to do to me?  Hell, I’m throwing my business their way, the least they could do is make my deliveries for free.”
“So what’s Jessie got you doing?” Harvey asked.
“Oh, just the usual.  He’s been wanting to have an outhouse built for his laborers on the farm, down on the bottom of his spread, so he’s got me on it like flies on...never mind.”
“You’re building an outhouse?  That’s what your “project” is?”  Harvey asked incredulously.
“Yep,” said Greg complacently.  “I’m building an outhouse.  It ain’t the Taj Mahal, but at least I’m listening to my choice of music, and not having it dictated to me.  That by itself, is worth the price of admission.  I’ll talk at you gentlemen later,” and he was gone.
Harvey and Ken exchanged glances.  “Pretty easy to please, I’d say, if all he wants is to listen to his music.”

Monday, May 14, 2012

Plenty of Saltines


I wrote this quasi-autobiographical narrative as a tribute to a fine organization.  I look back fondly to my scouting experience, and the friendships I formed.  All kids should have an opportunity of this nature, at some point in their upbringing. 
Plenty of Saltines
If ever there was a more bedraggled patrol of Boy Scouts on the face of the planet than the Tenderfeet, it has yet to be documented to my satisfaction.  I don’t think it’s even been suggested.  By definition, a tenderfoot is someone who is so unaccustomed to the intricacies of being in the great outdoors, that his feet cannot withstand the rigors, and become sore and tender.  In the Boy Scouts a Tenderfoot was the lowest rung of the ladder.  In order to achieve Tenderfoot status, a scout had to have his uniform, have memorized the Scout motto, slogan, and various other minor requirements.  He did not have to prove his feet were tough.
Why a patrol of new scouts would choose to name their patrol the Tenderfeet, clearly indicates that there existed amongst them, a subtle sense of humor, in a world frequently defined as anything but funny.  The members of the Tenderfeet were all newly introduced to Boy Scout Troop 433, located in West Covina, California, back in 1965.
What was going on in the world, in May of1965?  Here are five things that occurred within twelve weeks of this time period: On March 2nd, The Sound of Music premiered at the Rivoli Theatre in New York; on March 8th, the first 3,500 American troops were deployed to Viet Nam; on May 5th, 40 men burned their draft cards on Berkeley’s campus; on May 22, the International Skateboarding Championships were first broadcast on national TV; and on May 25, Muhammad Ali knocked out Sonny Liston.
The new boy scout recruits had come, en masse, from a neighboring community, which did not have the luxury of having its own troop.  Consequently, having been welcomed in by the powers-that-be, the newest scouts were bunched together, to sink or swim as a unit.  In the beginning there was a question about placing all of those, well, tenderfeet, in a patrol without some experienced, older scouts. 
But that was asking a lot of the older scouts of Troop 433, to take under their collective wing, a bunch of new recruits, who had no ties with the existing troop.  So the scoutmaster, and the other adults involved in the whole shebang, decreed that a patrol of tenderfeet was a perfectly normal development, because they could work together to achieve success, with the older scouts all unofficially lending them a hand as needed.  And thus the Tenderfeet took their places besides the rest of the troop, which featured four other patrols: The Eagles, The Pumas, The Tomahawks, and the Grizzlies.
The members of the Tenderfeet included seventh and eighth grade boys, all from the same junior high school, the term “middle school” still not around, back in 1965.  They formed a typical assortment of 12 and 13-year-olds, beginning with Marc, a bright little guy who was small for his age, fairly squirrelly, a kid more likely to follow, than to lead the adventure.  What Marc had was a fierce pride in his new status as Boy Sprout, a term fixed upon him by his father, a stern, hard-working man, who spent his life laboring to provide for a large family with blue-collar values.  Marc had the smarts and the agility to be very instrumental in the patrol’s success, if you could harness that energy, and prevent him from being murdered by someone within the midst, who finally could not take his constant buzz of activity anymore.  Did I mention that Marc was a squirrelly kind of guy?
Marc’s best friend was Jeff, a slender kid who was the brain of the group.  He wore glasses, and was still grappling with coordination, as it applied to his body.  He had it all figured out on paper but struggled to put it into play.  He was easygoing in nature, but tended to get overanxious, when it came to performing under pressure.
Next came Mikey, a tall, lanky kid who wore thick glasses, and had a perpetually ruddy glow about his cherubic face.  His attitude reflected the fact that he was a mama’a boy, a kid who perpetually whined about life in general, and his life in particular.  If Mikey felt he was being dissed in some way, shape or form, he would snivel up a storm, until he either got his way, or made the others wish he had gotten his way.
John helped balance Mikey’s attitude out, by being one of the most accommodating kids on the block.  He was of medium height, smart, of an even temperament, and he had at least ten brothers and sisters, all of the same easygoing temperament.  John’s dad was a lawyer, with his own practice, and his mother had to be one of the most saintly people who ever walked the earth, or drove it for that matter, as she was always ferrying kids around, with three or four smaller fry, wandering around within the confines of the car, years before there was any restrictions, concerning seat-belts and car-seats.
Jerry was of medium height, stocky, and of an absolute fearless personality.  He was a human version of a Sherman tank, raised on the brink of a huge tract of rural property, over which he was allowed to freely roam, becoming familiar with the outdoors, and many of its reptilian  inhabitants.  Jerry would lead visiting school chums around the foothills bordering his home, effectively presenting a wilderness paradise to his friends.  As a scout, he brought a lot of experience and savvy to the patrol.
Ruben was Mr. Congenial, a heavyset Hispanic kid, who managed to stay on even terms with his peers, no matter how strongly or arbitrarily, the winds of dissension swirled around him.  If there was a threat of an argument breaking out, Ruben’s presence, often helped ease over the rocky spot, because he had a way of getting kids to work together, just by being willing to do what it took, to get the process started.  Ruben was a huge reason why the Tenderfeet were able to keep the logistical side of camping under control.  
Joining Ruben, in terms of logistical aptitude, was Edwin, an athletic black kid, who was the acknowledged physical leader of the patrol.  He was affable, the son of a conservative business man, who had instilled in his son, a strong sense of responsibility, not generally associated with junior high kids.  Eddie’s willingness to assume many of the chores around the campsite, was instrumental in presenting a reasonably organized view of their campsite to the outside world, regardless of how chaotic the condition of the patrol actually was.
Stephen was a fair-complected, slow-thinking son of a butcher, a kid capable of listening to a string of instructions and advice, and then asking afterwards, if you could repeat that once more for him.  He struggled with the complexities of life in general, and with academic growth in particular.  No one wanted to say that Stephen was dumb, but that was usually so evident, that it need not be spoken aloud.  It might have worked out all right, if Stephen had been a little more willing to get along with his peers, instead of being a bit on the prissy side, and always expecting that the people around him, would make allowances for his lack of forward progress.  One thing he had going for him was that he was strong.  He was not necessarily athletic, like Eddie, but he was one strong individual.
Will and Phil rounded off the ten, the twins being a mixed bag of lively fraternal squabbling, never seeming to be able to set that sibling rivalry aside.  No matter what type of drama was going on within the patrol, Will and Phil would add their own version, guaranteed to muddy forward progress, when it came to group endeavors.  Whereas Will was fast and agile, Phil was slow and clumsy, a fact that Will never let him forget.  It probably would have worked out, if Phil could have salvaged some shed of dignity, by being the brain of the two, but such was not the case.  It was another piece of information that Will brought into the picture frequently.
The big question, as the Spring Jamboree was being planned for late May, was could the Tenderfeet participate, even though they were so green, and would likely not fare well in the competition?  This featured ten areas of scouting, commonly regarded as the foundation of principled scouting, reflecting the skills and physical ability for which all young people should strive.  
Obviously, the members of the patrol itself were eager to be a part of the action, regardless of the perceived outcome of the experience.  Led by Jeff, whose oratory skills were undisputed, the patrol went to the scoutmaster with their appeal.  Frankly he was completely incapable of coming up with a rational negative response to the question, “How are we to gain experience, if we are not allowed to participate?” and the Tenderfeet were given permission to attend.
With tremendous fanfare, confusion, agitation and drama, the rookie scouts gathered together immediately after school on Friday afternoon, of the designated weekend, where they crammed their gear into one pickup truck and piled everyone into one old Ford van, for the half-hour drive to Legg Lake Park, located in South El Monte, a nature preserve that was open for recreational use to the public.  The preserve had been rented by the Boy Scouts of America, as a venue for the annual gathering of scouts from SoCal, and Troop 433 had four patrols representing it at the Jamboree.
The Tenderfeet were everything they were purported to be, as rough in the arts of both camping and teamwork, as a group of kids could be.  This was their first excursion together, and they were accompanied by Mr. Camarillo, destined to be the future scoutmaster of the current Tenderfeet, when the troop broke away from Troop 433.  He was a firm believer in baptism by fire, and except for matters of health and safety, Mr. C. was content to let the scouts forge their way, without intervention.  
Ideally, the boys would have gathered together prior to the Jamboree, to go through a trial run, but when time, a rock, and a hard place, all conspired to make that impossible, they decided to push forward, and let the dust settle where it may-or the tent, for that matter.
“What the hell is going on?” asked Jeff sharply, even if his voice was somewhat muffled.
“The tent collapsed ding-bat, what do you think that is?  I told you those forks would never work as tent stakes.  I think it was your snoring that brought the whole thing down,” retorted Marc.  “If you had remembered the tent stakes, this would never have happened.”
“How was I supposed to know they weren’t wrapped up inside the tent, along with the poles?  You can just eat a root,” spat out Jeff.

        "Can't we just prop it up to get through the night?" asked Eddie.
        "Not with all of those ropes all tangled up," said John.  The boys were never quite certain that they had it all done correctly.  It was strictly guess and by golly.

“OK, look, for now we are going to have to make do.  It’s one-fifteen, and we’re not going to find stakes tonight.  We’re going to have to go to plan B.  I’ll be back in a sec.”  Marc made his way over the top of two of his contemporaries, with much antagonism, and out through the tent entrance.
When he returned, he was lugging Mr. C’s golf clubs, the ones that they had been afraid to ask to borrow.  Using a method which had them wedging the broader end of each club, into a shoe, and then using the other end to prop up a corner of the tent, they managed to recapture some semblance of comfort, if not style, and returned to sleep.  Of course, early next morning they woke to find their tent surrounded by amused scouts, who had drifted over very quietly, to check the oddly shaped tent out, jiggle a projecting golf club, and make snide comments.  Establishing that the inhabitants were awake, and then registering their disdain, the scouts then left them to try and dress and regain a modicum of dignity, something that was not to appear on the agenda, at any phase of the weekend.
It was after seven, by the time all had assembled, except Mikey and Stephen, who could be heard whining within the confines of the tent, still trying to dress themselves.  There was rumored to be a pool being formed with the scout correctly guessing the time of final tent-clearance getting no kitchen patrol during the weekend, but they were disappointed when Stephen became the last to join the others, who were collaborating to cook some breakfast.  
What would have been very straightforward for most seasoned campers, had become a comedy of errors.  Marc and Jeff had been up as soon as the morning sky began to lighten, which in late May, SoCal, is still before five.  They had expended a tremendous amount of effort, matches, newspapers, dry twigs, leaves, toothpicks, straw wrappers, and whatever they could find, thus getting high marks for multi-tasking, just to get a fire started.  [Wasn’t that one of the required events in the competition?]  
However, time was not an issue, at this juncture, so there was ample for them to have already built up the fire with some of the firewood that they had piled in the bed of the pickup, and attempted to cook the scrambled eggs over the fire.  After all, wasn’t that what camping was all about?  Mr. C. was sitting placidly to one side, drinking his coffee that he had made on one burner of the available Coleman stove, nibbling on trail mix, reading the rules and regulations for the weekend’s activities.  
“Eww,  The eggs are turning brown.”  Mikey was more than willing to share, what everyone else had been thinking.”
“That’s because the butter got too hot and burned,” said Will.  “You can’t cook anything on wood fires, until the flames die down.  Then you use the coals.  I tried to tell you that.”
Jeff looked at Marc, who said, “That’s funny, when we were discussing it earlier, you distinctly said that using the fire instead of the Coleman stove, made more sense because the Coleman stove was as easy as being at home, and that we should be more adventurous.  I do not remember you suggesting that cooking-”
He was cut off by the single word, “Fine.  You aren’t going to take my word for it anyway.  What are we going to do with these eggs?”
The words were no more out of his mouth, when an entourage of traveling Boy Scout officials arrived at the edge of the campsite, beaming angelically.  Upon observing the tent and the dark-tinted eggs, and the general air of discontent, they moseyed on.  Mr. Camarillo sipped his coffee. 
When the boys went to the ice chest to get Sunday’s eggs to cook, Mr. C. stopped them, and asked what was up.  When he had examined the eggs, he forked a taste out of the pan, made a wry face, and said, “Why, these are fine!  Who cares what they look like?  There is plenty of bread for toasting, and we’ll use the skillet and the Coleman stove for that, and besides, there are plenty of saltines.”  Indeed, Mr. C. had stocked up on saltines, and they were sitting right there on the picnic table.
For better or mostly worse, the boys not only finished eating, but managed to get the dishes washed.  There were rules about what the campsites had to look like, once the scouts had ventured off to participate in the day’s events, and Mr. C. was not going to ignore the exterior of the campsite.  Those who were not involved in the clean-up, gathered around to plan how they were going to approach the events that were scheduled.
“It says that there are ten events that each patrol participates in.  Some involve all of us, and we are scored as a patrol, and others are individual events, and we choose who does them,” said Jeff.  “So we need to figure out who is doing what, before we arrive at the event.  We all have to do the physical stuff, but we do not all have to tie knots or build a fire.”
“You mean that Phil has to do push-ups?  We lose!”  Will was always willing to throw in his nickel’s worth.
“Hey Will, you can-”  began Phil.
“Join Eddie cleaning the campsite.  If you guys are going to fight, then you’re never going to have a chance,” said Mr. C.
“Yeah, come on you guys.  We aren’t going to stand a chance if we pick on each other.  We got to stick together,” said Ruben.  “Besides,” he said pointedly to Will, “You wait and see.  Phil is going to save the day.”  He went over to Phil and stood next to him.
“A chance for what, exactly?” asked Marc, turning back to Mr. C.
“What do you mean?  This is a jamboree!  You are competing against the other patrols for high honors at the final gathering tomorrow at noon.”
“We’re competing against the Eagles?  And the Grizzlies?  We’ll be eaten alive,” observed Mikey.
“Well, your mother’s not here to hold your hand, so I guess you’re useless,” sneered Jerry, who had no patience with Mikey’s whining.  Turning to Jeff, he said, “I don’t think we have a chance of beating those guys, but we shouldn’t be in too bad of shape, as far as just being able to compete.  If we go into this just ignoring the other patrols, and do our own thing, it will have to do.  What else is there besides the physical stuff, tying knots and campfire building?”
Jeff responded, “First aid.  It’s a biggee, because we need to enter six scouts, so we need to brush up on our basics, maybe go over the stuff about making stretchers, and helping an injured scout to safety.  Then there is plant identification.  We need three for that.  There’s special categories of physical abilities, like gymnastics, and archery.  There’s the track and field events, and a lot of stuff.  There’s Morse Code.  They have a guy at one end of the camp, sending messages in code, and you have to be able to tell what the message is.  It’s hard!”
John jumped in with some logistics.  “It says we have to participate in the basic seven-all patrols have to, but we get to choose three events that reflect our patrol’s skills.”  Looking over at Eddie, who was bustling around the “kitchen” area, he said, “We’re in good shape there.”
“Come on, everyone, we got ten minutes to get our stuff together, and get to the center.  Use the latrine if you need to, and remember to fill your canteens.  Be prepared,” Mr. C. finished off with the Boy Scout Motto.
The events unfolded with clockwork regularity, with or without would-be participants.  What the Tenderfeet did have going for them, was a team of naturally-for the most part-quick-thinking scouts.  They had also had the opportunity to examine firsthand, a pair of Boy Scout Handbooks, which had been donated to the school, and which lived in the classroom library.  All of the scouts had spent plenty of time, going over certain aspects of the book, which piqued their interest.  In fact, they were allowed to check a book out overnight, so the boys had each had the chance to do that.
So just because they were novices at the art of scouting, they had done a fair amount of homework, and had a better grasp of the fundamentals of scouting, than some of the more seasoned veterans in the other patrols.  You would not have thought it to look at them, but then again, you know what they say about judging a book by its cover.  Don’t forget, you can take a jacket off of one book, and place it on another.  Or better still, you can cover a book with plain brown wrap.  What does that tell you about the book itself?  Not a doggone thing.
You still have to spend some time with it.  You have to turn the pages, and you have to be able to take in what you find.  What the other patrols found out about the Tenderfeet was, that they were resourceful.  They knew how to make use of each scout, according to his ability.  Jeff could not beat a one-legged granny in a foot race, but he could tie knots backwards and forwards, and he could do it fast.  His hands shook, as though he had the palsey, but he tied those knots.  Eddie took firsts in all but one of his events, and firsts brought in twenty points apiece.  
In the end even Phil came through in the clutch, because one of the specialty competitions was for morse Code, and Phil, without Will’s knowledge, had been studying the Code for months now, and using the handbook at school to brush up on it.  
As they gathered for the final assembly, during which awards were distributed, there was a lively discussion about which of Troop 433’s patrols would garner top honors for the Jamboree.
“You know the Eagles will be right up there, and probably the Tomahawks too,” said Jeff, matter-of-factly.  “Of course they’ll probably sleep through the ceremony after last night.”  There had been quite a bit of nocturnal exploration by some of the scouts, resulting in some concern that consequences would follow.  
“I don’t even know why we are hanging out for the ceremony.  Why can’t we just go home?” whined Mikey.
“Maybe some of us would like to see what it will be like next year, when we might have some hope of scoring high honors.  You can always stay in your tent.”
Mr. C. spoke up.  “I’d like to see you all at the ceremony.  Meanwhile, you might want to get organized, because after it’s over, we’re out of here as soon as we get it together.  Chop chop!”    
They were brash, they were antsy, and they were green, but in the end, the Tenderfeet amassed 901 points, one more point than was required, to achieve the highest ranking possible for a patrol at the Jamboree.  From Troop 433, only the Eagles also attained the 900 plus points needed.  
“It was Phil and his Morse Code;  I knew he would come through,” said Ruben proudly, punching Phil in the shoulder, while enjoying the sour look on Will’s face.
As the Tenderfeet celebrated, the other patrols from Troop 433 gathered around, grudgingly giving them their due.  
“Does this mean you are going to change your name?” asked one of the Grizzlies.
“Change our name?  No way!  We have a reputation to uphold,” said Jeff.  “Besides, my feet are pretty sore...” he finished lamely.